Writing

The Memory Book: A Grief Journal for Children and Families
Author: Joanna Rowland;  Illustrator: Thea Baker
Published: January 14, 2020 by Beaming Books

You might recognize the book which inspired this journal, The Memory Box: A Book About Grief:

The child in the book generates a box of mementoes of a loved one she lost. It’s a magnificent book that encourages children to generate boxes of mementoes of their own loved ones. We recommend it highly–particularly for children who are experiencing loss. This book inspired the grief journal, The Memory Book.

Goodreads Summary of The Memory Book: I will always remember you . . .Joanna Rowland’s best-selling The Memory Box: A Book about Grief has helped thousands of children and families work through the complex emotions that arise after the loss of a loved one. Now, with The Memory Book, Rowland has created a beautiful grief journal to help readers put her methods into practice. The Memory Book helps grieving families process their emotions together by remembering their lost loved one and creating their own memory album full of photos and keepsakes of the person they lost. With gentle prompts and ideas for journaling, drawing, and talking through grief, this journal will bring comfort in the midst of loss and be a keepsake for families for years to come.

Rowland discusses the process of writing The Memory Box:

“In writing The Memory Box, a book about grief, there were three people and their families that I was thinking about. In 2014, a relative that was meant to get my first published book Always Mom, Forever Dad (a positive picture book on divorce) lost her father suddenly a month before the book’s publication. I knew she needed a different type of book, and that’s when I knew I needed to write a picture book on grief. When I first found out her dad had passed away, I saw a photo of her holding her dad’s hand on the beach with the waves coming toward them. That image stayed with me. I knew somehow that I wanted to make a nod toward that scene in my writing. At the time, I had no idea what that story was going to be. I tried a couple of different ways to write about grief. My first attempt was a nature poem. But when thinking about how I would help a young child through grief, eventually the idea of a memory box came.

I was also thinking about my childhood friend, Scott, who was also gone too soon. He studied birds and had such a sweet soul. I have some sweet memories growing up with him. He’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

During the two years I spent writing about grief, we lost Marisa to cancer. I had coached her in synchronized swimming for years, and she swam with my niece and older daughters. It was heartbreaking. Marisa was so full of life with the most contagious smile.

All of these people were gone much too soon. These families had lost a father, a son, an only child, a daughter and a sister.

I had to get this story right. I think going through grief and taking my youngest to her first funeral at age six, helped me find a way to talk about death with my youngest and find the heart of the story. It still took me over two years to get the story right.

Grief is hard. Everyone has his or her journey with it. Allow yourself to grieve however you need to. There is no right or wrong way. There are support groups out there and other resources to help. Grief can be hard to communicate. I hope The Memory Box can be a tool to foster conversations and help keep the memories of your loved ones alive. The book also includes a guide in back that discusses ways to talk to your child about grief.

For anyone struggling with grief, my thoughts are with you.”

Ricki’s Review: I often see posts on parent forums in which folks are requesting books about grief. There are some amazing books out there, particularly Rowland’s bestselling picture book The Memory Box. Yet I have never seen a journal about this topic. I was intrigued and really looking forward to reviewing it. When I cracked the cover, it took my breath away. The pages are stunning, and the prompts are incredibly thoughtful. This book is one that I will recommend again and again to parents/teachers who are seeking to talk about grief with children. It allows children to negotiate with the many emotions that come with grief and celebrate the people they are grieving. I am so grateful that this book exists in the world.

Kellee’s Review: My son suffered a huge amount of loss this last summer: 3 pets (ours and my in-law’s who we live next door to) and his grandfather, my father-in-law. As a mom, I was lost at how to help him through this time, mostly as I was figuring out how to navigate the grief as well. In the end, Trent has done extremely well emotionally for the tough time we went through! However, he definitely still talks often about his lost loved ones, so when I saw this book, I knew it was one that I would want to share with him because I truly believe that the best way to deal with loss is to talk about it. The Memory Box and The Memory Book are perfect jumping off points for discussing memories of lost loved ones with kids. It is a healthy way to navigate such a tough time! I am thankful books like this exist to help their kids when loss impacts their lives.

Teachers’ Tools for Navigation: Last semester, I (Ricki) asked my students (teacher educators) to describe a moment in their schooling in which they thought their teachers were wrong. One student shared that she was still deeply impacted by the death of a student during her middle school year. She said the teachers never spoke about the student’s death, which made it harder. This book offers thoughtful prompts that teachers can use in their classrooms (and that parents can use with their children).

Discussion Questions: Which prompts do you find most inspiring? Why?; Which prompts were harder to write? Why?; How did you feel as you wrote about your loved one?

Check Out the Beautiful Pages:

Read This If You Loved: The Memory Box: A Book about Grief by Joanna Rowland; The Remember Balloons by Jessie Oliveros; What a Beautiful Morning by Arthur A. Levine; Forget Me Not by Nancy Van Laan; Still My Grandma by Veronique Van Den Abeele, Really and Truly by Emilie Rivard; Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge by Mem Fox; What’s Happening to Grandpa? by Maria Shriver

Recommended For: 

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**Thank you to Casey at Media Masters Publicity for providing copies of the books for review!**